Solitude

Inspired by photo gallery 'Solitude' by Qionah Mardenborough (find link to portfolio below)

Log kya kahenge? What will the people say?

---

What does Solitude mean to you?

Solitude to me means 'one'. I recently truly began to acknowledge solitude and the power of, standing with yourself in pride, holds. When I think of solitude I think of the number one, aloneness, the face that you don't show to the world. This face to me is built by these 3 actions; discipline, consistency, and communication, reflects our truest form.

Referring to this Japanese Proverb:

The first face, you show to the world.

The second face, you show to your close friends, and your family.

The third face, you never show anyone. -unknown

I progressively have been working on embodying discipline, consistency, and communication towards myself.

Discipline has allowed me to show up for myself every day, cooking me a healthy meal, being active, finding ways to express myself... self-care. Through showing up for myself, naturally, I am able to show up and be present for others without feeling like a burden or constantly being left questioning the situation. When I started showing up for myself more, the more I lost people who I thought had the right intentions toward me, the past versions of me. However, this does not mean everyone is out to get you. Once you know how to take care of yourself people will be able to take care of you, effortlessly. If you treat yourself shittyly so will others, it is simple. Your world is a reflection of your mind and if you are reading this, I feel honoured to be a part of your journey. May all your dreams come true and more, you are love.

Alongside discipline, comes consistency. Now this aspect is a challenge for me, like a committed relationship, do I have trouble committing?

Trusting myself? Believing my truest values?

Consistency is an action I am still working on, I will feel like I am consistent when I have woken up every morning at or before 7am. You see now, I am even giving myself more chances to hit that snooze button. This is toxic!!! However, I am consistently showing up for myself nowadays, saying 'no' was the first step for me, standing up for myself when I felt discomfort or trapped. Nevertheless, I will write more about consistency once I have practiced it even more for myself. It is a process, a progress requiring a lot of forgiveness.

It all starts in YOUR morning routine.

Communication. Has been an enlightening experience for me because when I communicate I fear resistance, rejection, & reaction. Which when you meet me you wouldn't know that because I can talk to anyone and everyone, I do however feel trouble communicating my truest me. The first step I took of enhancing & embracing my truest form of communication started with my journaling journey, transferring my thoughts into a physical form, a safe space. Me, a pen and a notebook. The more I was honest with my feelings whether they were right or wrong the more I knew what was meant for me or not. Now, when I express myself and one critique's, blame's or shame's me for it I immediately know that one had expectations about who I am and through me expressing myself, was not a part of one's control, not a part of their plan.

I am not to be controlled, I allow my light to control me. I trust in me.

The more I communicate my true, authentic and honest feelings the more I have felt at peace knowing that I am not hiding truths. In the past I held a lot of shame holding onto truths that could have easily set someone, including myself free.

In solitude.

Forgive yourself first.

On the 23rd of May I had the privilege to be a part of QM Prints by Qionah Mardenborough, first ever photography gallery @QMPRINTS_.

"HIGH - LOWS - IN BETWEEN"

organised by Qionah herself & Michelle Wambui at 'The Huddle', a space to Connect, Create & Activate, at the Hoogeschool of Amsterdam. This was The Huddles first event and it was a creative's success, Qionah's courage, strength, beauty and determination to voice forth her beautiful and relatable message is a step love allows you to take. I am sure we are all going home pondering on what 'Solitude' means to us.

Her friends, family, classmates showed up & held her the space to shine in her full white suit that embraced all her curves alongside her Rapunzel lushishly long braided ponytail. Escaping from her tower of doubt & fear. Cheers to more black love, endless streams of creativity, enjoyment, & prosperity. <3

Not only was I present but I also had the chance to DJ during the event.

Dj Shero on the beats! Bless!

So I Dj'ed at QM Prints first photography gallery!!!

All in all, these elements grasp onto what the feeling of solitude means to me. I love, respect, and appreciate my solitude, without my solitude I wouldn't have had the courage to believe & create this page. I thank QM prints for allowing me to reflect on this feeling.

Wan Love

---

'Log Kya Kahenge' is a social slogan in Urdu and Hindi used in India and Pakistan to create fear of the public's opinion on one's personal life. To read more about the essence click here.